Friday, 6 January 2012

Politically Correct Holiday Greeting

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From me ("the wishor") to you ("the wishee"): Please accept without obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, politically correct, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the winter (or summer, as the case may be) solstice holiday, practised within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.

I wish you a financially successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2012 , but with due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures or sects, and having regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform or sexual preference of the wishee.

By accepting this greeting you are bound by these terms that:
• This greeting is subject to further clarification or withdrawal.
• This greeting is freely transferable provided that no alteration shall be made to the original greeting and that the proprietary rights of the wishor are acknowledged.
• This greeting implies no promise by the wishor to actually implement any of the wishes.
• This greeting may not be enforceable in certain jurisdictions and/or the restrictions herein may not be binding upon certain wishees in certain jurisdictions and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wishor.
• This greeting is warranted to perform as reasonably may be expected within the usual application of good tidings, for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first.
• The wishor warrants this greeting only for the limited replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wishor.

Any references in this greeting to "the Lord", "Father Christmas", "Our Saviour", "Rudolph the red nosed reindeer" or any other festive figures, whether actual or fictitious, dead or alive, shall not imply any endorsement by or from them in respect of this greeting, and all proprietary rights in any referenced third party names and images are hereby acknowledged.
.:.

4 comments:

A13 said...

HI DNB
Political correctness if a form of societal insanity which must end.
I miss the 70's and 80's before this crap, when everyone spoke their mind, not afraid to offend someone, and it was accepted..
Wtf happened? corporate weasel words and mission statement speak now dominate with carefull crafted responses and delusional norms now have become rampant.
Cheers A13

Anon said...

LOL!

Very good.

- Aangirfan

dognamedblue said...

...
imagine the size of the christmas card needed to get it all on? :)

english was invented because it's one of the only languages where you can say one thing & mean the total opposite
you just have to look at the legal system, courts, the police etc
the vatican refused to use it because it was "tainted"
all this is just a planned progression of the language which is probably why the ptb don't like "texting" because it changes it again but not how they wanted
.:.

Anon said...

Brilliant!