from: blog.eyesforlies.com: understanding introverts & extroverts
I'll reprint the whole Psychology Today article in full
can you guess what I am?
I was at victim support recently & was shocked [& upset] to find that they had none of my paper work on their records... I hope the police have it all
I was that shocked that I've been scouring my laptop for anything I can find as my incident was put down with pen & paper as I recall reading that if something is written down rather than printed from a computer it carries more weight
but the 7 pages of A4 was the final edition of several pieces I'd written up on the laptop that I'd thought were lost but I've found some of them, may put them up at a later date ;)
...
Psychology Today
Introverts & Extroverts - Why is it so hard to understand each other?
Field Guide to the Loner: The Real Insiders
Miina Matsuoka lives by herself in New York City. She owns two cats
and routinely screens her calls. But before you jump to conclusions,
note that she is comfortable hobnobbing in any of five languages for her
job as business manager at an international lighting-design firm. She
just strongly prefers not to socialize, opting instead for long baths,
DVDs, and immersion in her art projects. She does have good, close
friends, and goes dancing about once a month, but afterward feels a
strong need to "hide and recoup." In our society, where extroverts make
up three-quarters of the population, loners (except Henry David
Thoreau) are pegged as creepy or pathetic. But soloists like Matsuoka
can function just fine in the world—they simply prefer traveling through
their own interior universe.
Loners often hear from well-meaning
peers that they need to be more social, but the implication that
they're merely black-and-white opposites of their bubbly peers misses
the point. Introverts aren't just less sociable than extroverts; they
also engage with the world in fundamentally different ways. While
outgoing people savor the nuances of social interaction, loners tend to
focus more on their own ideas—and on stimuli that don't register in the
minds of others. Social engagement drains them, while quiet time gives
them an energy boost.
Contrary to popular belief, not all loners have a pathological fear
of social contact. "Some people simply have a low need for affiliation,"
says Jonathan Cheek, a psychologist at Wellesley College. "There's a
big subdivision between the loner-by-preference and the enforced loner."
Those who choose the living room over the ballroom may have inherited
their temperament, Cheek says. Or a penchant for solitude could reflect a
mix of innate tendencies and experiences such as not having many
friends as a child or growing up in a family that values privacy.
James
McGinty, for one, is a caseworker who opted out of a career as a lawyer
because he didn't feel socially on-the-ball enough for the job's daily
demands. He has a small circle of friends, but prefers to dine solo. "I
had a bad cold over the Thanksgiving holiday, but that spared me from
having to go to my brother-in-law's," he says. "I'm not a scrooge; it's
the gatherings I dread." Matsuoka feels his pain: "I can't do large
crowds with a lot of noise," she says. "It's stressful to maintain
positive interactions and introduce yourself 20 times. I really have to
turn on my motor to do that."
Solitary Pleasures
Matsuoka, who is divorced, is open to romantic relationships, but
"whomever I'm with must know that at least one day a week I need to lock
myself in my room and stick feathers on a sculpture," she warns.
Artwork is a form of meditation for her. "I get completely sucked in. It
clears my mind until nothing disturbs me." While a few studies have
shown a correlation between creativity, originality, and introversion,
perhaps more striking is the greater enjoyment introverts seem to reap
from creative endeavors.
Amanda Guyer, a psychologist at the
National Institutes of Health in Bethesda, Maryland, has found that
socially withdrawn people have increased sensitivity to all kinds of
emotional interactions and sensory cues, which may mean that they find
pleasure where others do not. Guyer separated child subjects into
"outgoing" and "reserved" groups and then had them play a game in which
they had to press a button in order to win money. The reserved subjects
showed two to three times more activity in the striatum region of the
brain, which is associated with reward, than did the more outgoing ones.
Previous
MRI studies have shown that during social situations, specific areas in
the brains of loners experience especially lively blood flow,
indicating a sort of overstimulation, which explains why they find
parties so wearying. But Guyer's results suggest that introverts may be
more attuned to all sorts of positive experiences as well. This added
sensitivity, she speculates, could mean that people who are reserved
have an ability to respond quickly to situations—such as coming to your
aid in a moment of need—or show unusual empathy to a friend, due to
their strong emotional antennae.
Research by psychotherapist
Elaine Aron bears out Guyer's hunch, demonstrating that withdrawn people
typically have very high sensory acuity. Because loners are good at
noticing subtleties that other people miss, Aron says, they are
well-suited for careers that require close observation, like writing and
scientific research. It's no surprise that famous historical loners
include Emily Dickinson, Stanley Kubrick, and Isaac Newton
The Unhealthy Case of the Lonely Loner
The content introverts' camp closely borders the land of the socially
anxious. Matsuoka, for example, says she was "pathologically shy" as a
child, which likely laid the groundwork for her current lifestyle, even
though she grew much more confident in her 20s. Those who remain
"enforced loners" long to spend time with people, but shyness and
anxiety inhibit them from doing so. "Introverts are people who like to
be alone," says Paula Montgomery, an accountant from St. Louis. "I
prefer to be around other people, but because of my shyness, it's
difficult for me to join groups and make friends."
Such loners
have several stress-inducing strikes against them: They may get
butterflies whenever they have to face in-person encounters, and they
are subject to outside pressure to be sociable. When major life problems
crop up, loners are also less likely to seek out social support.
John Cacioppo, a psychologist at the University of Chicago, has
highlighted social isolation as a health-risk factor on par with obesity
and smoking. "Loneliness is like hunger and thirst—a signal to help
your genes survive," Cacioppo says. "When you're lonely, there's a
stress response in your body, and it's not healthy to sustain that for a
long time."
He knows well his wicked ways
A course of bitterness
A grudge held from his childhood days
As if life had loved him less
Reading down his list of names
He ticks them one by one
He points the barrel at the sky
Firing shots off at the sun
"I am the law and I am the King
I am the wisdom, listen to me sing"
He carves out the victim's names
In the wooden butt of the gun
He leans well back against the tree
He knows his Kingdom's come
He'll breathe a sigh self satisfied
The work is in good hands
He shoots the coins into the air
And follows where the money lands
"I am the law and I am the King
I am the wisdom, listen to me sing"
He pauses at the city's edge
Of hellfire and of stone
He summons up the devil there
To give him courage of his own
He'll free the sinners of deceit
They'll hear his name and run
His justice is his own reward
Measured out beneath the sun
"I am the law and I am the King
I am the wisdom, listen to me sing"
And my name's on the gun
Work is just begun
The boy with the gun
A course of bitterness
A grudge held from his childhood days
As if life had loved him less
Reading down his list of names
He ticks them one by one
He points the barrel at the sky
Firing shots off at the sun
"I am the law and I am the King
I am the wisdom, listen to me sing"
He carves out the victim's names
In the wooden butt of the gun
He leans well back against the tree
He knows his Kingdom's come
He'll breathe a sigh self satisfied
The work is in good hands
He shoots the coins into the air
And follows where the money lands
"I am the law and I am the King
I am the wisdom, listen to me sing"
He pauses at the city's edge
Of hellfire and of stone
He summons up the devil there
To give him courage of his own
He'll free the sinners of deceit
They'll hear his name and run
His justice is his own reward
Measured out beneath the sun
"I am the law and I am the King
I am the wisdom, listen to me sing"
And my name's on the gun
Work is just begun
The boy with the gun
.:.
